A List of Things That Give Me Confidence
PC: Pinterest
I told my boyfriend the other day to take my phone away. “Put it somewhere I wouldn’t find it,” were my exact words. After wasting yet another morning doom-scrolling and feeling utterly drained already at 8:03 AM, I knew I needed to make a change.
The phone is always the first thing I need to peel myself away from when I’m feeling low. Before Instagram, but more specifically, Reels, I never felt like I had any confidence issues. I didn’t really compare myself to others simply because I wasn’t seeing that many people. And those I did see were also not trying to one-up somebody else on the internet. And while I still don’t think I’m particularly low on confidence, I can certainly feel the effects of a phone addiction on my mood and overall wellness, begging me to ask the question: how can I feel more confident?
I realize it’s not necessarily the content of my phone that brings my energy down, but rather the frequency at which I distract my gaze. Every quick check on my emails leaves me with a micro-disappointment. Every quick Instagram break turns into a thirty-minute mind-numbing session. Add them all up, and I’m physically and mentally exhausted throughout the day. Yet I can’t seem to stop the pull I feel towards this tiny device, like I orbit around it.
I feel a breath of fresh air once my partner confirms the phone has been stored away. With a couple of hours left in the day, I use them to rearrange our living room and get lost in the creative process of planning where to place my plants. No micro interruptions, just an elongated flow state.
I don’t ask for my phone back as I tuck myself into bed, and I allow him to keep it hidden as he goes off to work the next day. Now I sit in front of my journal and wonder what it is, exactly, that gives me confidence. I always knew that life is only as miserable or as beautiful as you make it, and I choose to see it as the latter. And when my hormonal cycle makes me feel less than my usual self, I need a little extra reminder to feel secure and steady. So here they are: a list of things that make me feel confident.
How I Get More Confidence
Wearing something that feels like me.
It’s not enough to just get dressed in the morning. I need to wear something that screams “Bianca.” The right outfit can bring out the best version of myself.
Journaling
Journaling may have single-handedly saved me over the years. It’s how I organize my thoughts and become a more rational, level-headed person. If I’m feeling down, simply writing a list of things I’m grateful for helps significantly.
Beyoncé documentaries
Confident women give me confidence. Seeing women who are absolutely killing it feeds me power.
Pinterest
Pinterest, and lately also Substack, are the two social media platforms that inspire rather than drain me.
Planning a vacation (even if it’s not in the books)
Sometimes I just feel like I’m in a rut and need something to look forward to. Enter: planning a vacation. Just the idea of going somewhere nice, wearing cute outfits, and experiencing new culture fills me with excitement.
Cooking
Cooking allows me to completely check out of whatever mental fog I’m in and focus at the task at hand. And at the end you get a wonderful meal to fuel you.
A clean space
If your home is messy, so is your soul. A clean space can trick your mind into feeling organized.
Taking care of my nails, skin, and body
Your body wants to be taken care of. It needs your attention just as much as that report or that friend does. You need to be giving yourself the same amount of love and care as you so freely give others.
A walk in the forest
As a nature girl, a quick walk under the trees can instantly lift my spirits. Sometimes that’s all it takes to get me out of a funk and feel like myself again.
Creating rather than consuming
Doom-scrolling is a one-way ticket to feeling drowsy, but creating? Writing for this website, filming something cute for YouTube, and even cooking are all things that I have control over and feel good to the brain.
Calling my family
I’m lucky to be born into a loving family, and reminding myself how blessed I am to have them in my life always puts me back on the right track.
