What Growing Up in Asia, Europe, and America Taught Me About Style and Life
PC: Florré
My parents put a lot of effort into my upbringing, specifically in making sure I feel connected to my cultures. My father, who grew up in Austria, and my mother, who grew up in Japan, flew me back and forth between New York, Vienna, and Tokyo for school and work, and because of them, I not only speak three languages fluently but also live and breathe my cultures.
It is a huge privilege, and probably one of my biggest treasures. But it also meant a rather lonely childhood. There is no single place I 100% belong to. I also don’t have a community of people just like me, or even a single friend with the same experiences and languages. And so, I’ve marched through this world as a bit of a lone chameleon—something I’ve actually quite enjoyed and am rather good at.
Growing up with three cultures from three different continents has taught me a lot of great life lessons. For one, I’m always a couple of feet removed from the center, giving me more of a holistic view on things. It’s allowed me not to take things too personally, and I apply that mindset to just about anything in life.
The other is that if you ever don’t fit into one place, another will likely accept you just as you are. There have been episodes in my life where my wild personality didn’t match Japan’s conformist ideals. I turned around and flew to Austria, where what Japan rejected was loudly celebrated. But give it a couple of years, and it flips, so this, too, is something I don’t have to take too personally. Everything comes in waves.
The third is witnessing just how powerful style is. If you ask me, it’s the common language spoken across the world. Everybody gets dressed in the morning. Everyone takes into account their environment and their personalities before deciding what to wear that day—however unconsciously it may feel to some.
I dress one way in Asia, another way in Europe, and differently again in New York. I feel different on each continent, and that’s reflected in the clothes I wear. I’m comfortable communicating certain things in Europe that I’m not comfortable communicating in Asia through my clothes.
It really made me think that languages come second to style. People judge appearance way before you get the chance to open your mouth. Wearing leggings and a sports bra in L.A. means you’re a cool girl. In Paris it means you’re sloppy. And in Kyoto it means you’re naked.
Once you understand how effective communication through fashion is, you can start using it to your advantage—and that’s where things really get fun. You become an architect of your life, where you can dabble in different “languages” just by changing your outfit.
When I was 15, I went to school in a tiny village nestled between the Austrian Alps. A classmate told me that her first impression of me upon entering the classroom was “oh Gott, was für ne Tussi” (oh God, what a brat) based on my first day of school outfit. She then got to know me and decided I was funny as hell; we are still friends. At the time, I did not know that I had to change my New York style to match Alpine fashion, which, if you’re wondering what that is, is basically ski jackets and ski pants at school.
If you ask any of my relatives or friends there about my time in school, they will all bring up my wardrobe choices—that they made me appear snobby and spoiled or too girly. That I wore high heels to the bar in the dead of winter. It didn’t matter that I was a mountain-trekking individual who could run laps around the locals. The messages my outfits delivered were louder than the reality.
Without changing a single thing about myself, I came back to New York, where kids had designer school bags and wore high heels to class—and just like that, I was a broke tomboy.
And this is where my first and second life lessons really come into use. It is good to always remain two steps removed and not take things too personally. It is good to remember that just because you don’t fit into one place doesn’t mean another won’t gladly accept you.
I am lucky to have spent most of my life in New York, one of the world’s biggest fashion capitals. I am free to express myself without much judgment. In fact, if you ask me now where I want to live in this world, it’s anywhere where my style is not restricted by invisible rules, and there are surprisingly very few places like that.
To finish this Saturday rant, I have one more thing I’d like to say:
I will always liken fashion a little bit to classical music—they both have the power to express emotions without the need for words. When I was younger and confused about where I belonged in this world, I’d turn to these two forms of communication to express myself. The words may not have appeared in German or Japanese or English, but I could always say what I wanted to say through clothes and music.
